hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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