what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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