I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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