DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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