I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
