I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
