Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
