we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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