Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Fuck appropriateness.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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