You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
