Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
