hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
