I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
