TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
