I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I think I have vodka in my lungs
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
