I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
