Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
