i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
