standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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