We're facebook friends in real life
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
