I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
