My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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