He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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