he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
