Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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