is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
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