She is in my trunk
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
