alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
