Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
