I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
