Swine flu. Run for my life!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
