Yo dont text me then not text me
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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