My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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