your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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