on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
