I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
