So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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