i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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