we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize