SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
