She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
