Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
