my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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