He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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