Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
