I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
