fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
