I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
