Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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