Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
