So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
