WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
