Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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