It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
