Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
