Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
time to smoke my breakfast
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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