just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
