I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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