WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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