Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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