i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I miss vodka workout Fridays
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
