I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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