come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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