Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
