If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
