hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
